Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Admit it! You're an E-ddict!

That's short for "email addict." Did I really have to spell that out for you?

Apparently there are a lot of you out there who are so hard up for connection that you can't seem to get your mind away from the thought that there might be an email sitting in your inbox that you haven't read yet. The possibility is intolerable! Such a state of affairs cannot be allowed to exist. The email must be read at once!

Don't despair, my e-ddicted friends. There is a 12-step program designed with you in mind. Some woman named Marsha Egan has figured out that you'll pay her money to help you kick the habit. Isn't that good news?

Now, I'm not trying to poke fun at this very serious problem. We'll probably find out that it has its own genetic marker. Were your parents e-ddicts? Your grandparents? You know it can skip a generation. Wait a minute, did they have email? Doesn't matter, this is a real disease. (I hope they like the name I invented for it!)

Egan says she won't have real live meetings, but instead plans a monthly teleconference for the e-ddicts. I guess they can't do an online chat, that would be too much like email. They might become addicted to that. I hope she doesn't tell them about IM. That would be like telling a cocaine addict about crack. Not a good idea.

Well, good luck to all you e-ddicts. Drop me a line (use comments...stay away from the other thing) to let me know how the program is going.