Thursday, December 07, 2006

Top Five Things that ANNOY THE CRAP out of Me

OK, time for a list of things I find exquisitely annoying. Why now? you say. Quit asking questions, it's annoying. I am not perfect. I get annoyed, just like you do. Maybe not by the same things, but certainly you get annoyed sometimes. Check out my list, then share yours by commenting on this post. Unless you recognize yourself in my list. If you are on my list, just stop doing whatever it is that's annoying me. Very simple solution. Here goes:
  1. People who get their money and card from the drive-through ATM, then sit there putting everything away just so and counting their money and checking their receipt until their anal tendencies are assuaged, and THEN they deign to move on. In the meantime I have to sit and wait on their highnesses to DRIVE AWAY SO I CAN USE THE FREAKING MACHINE!!
  2. People who wonder through the grocery store as if they are the only ones left on the planet, like Charlton Heston in The Omega Man. They park their carts right in the middle of the aisle while they search the shelves for whatever the heck they're scrounging for. Their carts are left positioned in such a precisely obnoxious manner that you could get by if only your cart were just 3 millimeters slimmer across the hips.
  3. Those teeny tiny guys in their teeny tiny cars with fat rims and humongous spoilers (yeah, you really need those giant things just to keep your awesome cars from lifting off the tarmac, we get it!), whining through the streets like hungry little mosquitos. They drive like maniacs, as if to prove to themselves that, even though they are short in stature and their cars are the size of hotwheels, they are really tough guys. (I was actually lucky enough to see a couple of them get into a wreck once. With each other! Don't worry, no one was hurt.)
  4. People who never use a lane-change signal. They're too important to bother with letting the rest of us know WHERE THE HECK THEY"RE PLANNING TO GO NEXT!
  5. People who make lists of things that annoy them.
Wow, I really do feel better now. You should try it.